April 2016 - Grade 1: Angry Feelings

When things go wrong in children's lives, no response of theirs is more normal or natural than a sudden outburst of anger. An event that to an outside observer often seems unimportant or trifling has the potential to frustrate or even overwhelm a child. Children, of course, have the right to get angry, and they display their anger in a variety of ways. The problem is, however, that when they fly off the handle they may act in inappropriate ways that only intensify their anger and make a bad situation worse. To understand and manage the energy let loose when they get angry is a difficult but invaluable lesson for children to learn. Anger can be the most complex and confusing of all emotions. First graders are watching 'What To Do When You Get Angry', a short video that demonstrate appropriate ways in which to express angry feelings.

Some highlights from this program and our subsequent classroom discussion:

Stop and Cool Down/Use YourWords: using their words, saying how they feel about what happened, and then listening to what the person who made them angry has to say, can make angry feelings go away.

Angry Energy: if there's no one to identify as the source of your anger, the best way to handle angry energy is to turn the energy to positive use by doing something like running or throwing a ball. Sometimes we are just angry at ourselves.

Say How You Feel: keeping angry feelings bottled up only makes things worse, and that before they can deal with their anger, they first need to admit that they are angry.

Solve the Problem That's Making You Angry: if they are able to calm down before exploding in anger when a problem arises, they will be much more successful in solving their problem.

Find Something Fun to Do: when they get angry over a situation they can do nothing about, the best thing to do is to calm down, and think of something fun to do.

Some suggested  children’s reading on the subject of anger: Agassi, Martine, Ph.D. Hands Are Not For Hitting. Free Spirit Publishing, 2000, Goodsell, Jane. Toby's Toe. William Morrow, 1986, Jonell, Lynne. When Mommy Was Mad. Grosset & Dunlop, 2002.

And for the adults: Paul, Harry A. When Kids Are Mad, Not Bad: A Guide to Recognizing and Handling Children's Anger. Berkley Publishing Group, 1995, Morris, Bonnie Rothman. “Scream at Your Own Risk (and Your Children's).” The New York Times, November 9, 2004, Fox, Laura. I Am So Angry I Could Scream: Helping Children Deal With Anger, New Horizon Press, 2000.

April 2016 - Kindergarten: Good Choices!

Kindergarten classes are viewing a program called I Can't Decide: Making Decisions for our April Social Emotional Learning (SEL) lesson. The need to make choices begins very early in life. Often these choices are seemingly simple, like whether to talk during instructional time, or keep hands off others. Young children DO struggle with these decisions each and every day! 

Making good decisions is a skill that can be learned even by the youngest students. The goal of this lesson is to show children what is involved in choosing one course of action over another, so that when they have a decision to make,  they can choose wisely. These are the early stages of establishing an internal moral compass, accepting responsibility and developing self-control.

 Here are some of the points about making decisions your child learned in the program:

✔ making a decision means choosing between different things.

✔ all choices have consequences, something that happens because of a choice you make.

✔ thinking about all the possible consequences of a choice can make it a lot easier to decide what to do.

✔ some choices are easy to make because the consequences are not important; it doesn't make any difference what you choose.

✔ when making an important choice, it takes more than thinking about the consequences to arrive at a good decision.

✔ to make a good decision, you have to know something about each  choice before you can decide.

✔ if you can't get all the information you need for a decision by yourself, you can get help.

✔ when you have a big decision to make, you will know whether it's the right or wrong decision by thinking about how you would feel if someone found out what you did.

You may use one or more of these points to open a conversation with your child. Emphasize to him/her, as the program does, that making a good decision makes you proud of yourself.

Two books you may find helpful to read with your child are: Dr. Seuss. Hunches in Bunches. Random House, 1982. Humphrey, Sandra McLeod. If You Had to Choose, What Would You Do? Prometheus Books, 1995. 

March 2016 - Grade 3: What?

As part of our effective communication series this month in third grade, we are talking about...talking! We've all been in situations where someone is trying to tell us something, but we simply cannot figure out the point they're trying to make.

Our video and discussion this month is about how to speak in a way that makes a point, in a clear and concise manner. There are some key points that students of this age are able to internalize and put to use in the classroom and beyond:

• Use clear, simple language that everyone understands (omit slang or acronyms)
• Stick to the point - leave out unnecessary details
• Look at the person you're speaking to
• Pay attention when someone else is speaking (helps keep conversations on track)
• Don't interrupt! Wait for the speaker to finish before making your point
• Use appropriate body language and tone of voice
• Keep a positive attitude - avoid argumentative words or personal put-downs
• Maintain respect, even if the other person fails to do so

Like everyone else, children want to be heard! When they are able to communicate their thoughts and ideas in a direct and efficient manner, they'll find it's much easier getting people to listen. 

March 2016 - Grade 1: Differences

Here at Florence Roche, we value inclusion and try to model that for our students in the classroom and beyond. As adults, we understand that not all differences are visible on the outside, but they exist nonetheless. Children are surprisingly receptive to this concept, and it helps them gain better insight to their own personal strengths and weaknesses without judgement. Diversity will be approached in developmentally ways every year through our Social Emotional Learning (SEL) lessons.

First graders are revisiting a theme we started in Kindergarten about diversity. Students are watching We’re All Different and participating in conversations about what that means. The early grades constitute an expanding universe for young children, whose former experiences may have previously been limited to home and family. But as they become more group-oriented and develop social skills, children begin to compare themselves to their peers, and take notice of differences. We’re All Different helps the youngest students understand that even though everyone is different in lots of ways, everyone is special because he or she is “one of a kind.” They also learn that while we are all different, we are also alike in many ways. With the help of an engaging puppet host and catchy theme song, the program makes the following points:

• Everyone is special in his or her own special way.

• Some people look different, and some can do things others can’t do, but we’re all the same in some important ways.

• Working together, different people with different talents and abilities can make things the best they can be.

• People from different places have different customs and eat different foods.

• It’s important to respect differences in people’s cultures and tastes.

• Just because people are different doesn’t mean they don’t have the same feelings as everyone else.

Talk to your child about what he/she has learned from the program. All children receive daily messages about the differences between themselves and others, and they need to identify, understand, and appreciate the similarities.

Suggested Reading: Whoever You Are by Mem Fox, The Colors of the Earth by Sheila Hamanaka, The Story of the Infinipede by Bridget Noel Welch Kamke.

February 2016 - Grade 4: Fears and Anxiety

This month, during 4th graders Developmental Guidance lesson,  classes viewed a program called When Things Seem Scary: Fears and Anxieties.

This program is designed to help children cope with the cascade of unpleasant feelings that fear and anxiety can evoke, whether from real or imagined causes. Its goal is not only to help students recognize that such feelings are natural and normal, but also to give them effective strategies for dealing with their fears and anxieties. The video explained that:

• fear may be an uncomfortable feeling, but it can be a very healthy feeling when it warns you about a dangerous situation.

• on the other hand, fear can be an unhealthy feeling if you overreact when something scary happens.

• the most effective way to deal with fear is to admit you’re scared, try to understand why you’re scared, and then decide to do something about it.

• anxiety can best be handled by replacing negative worries with positive thoughts.

• when disturbing events happen, there are protections in place to keep people safe.

• talking to someone you trust when you’re scared can help you handle the times when things seem scary.

Engage your child in talking about his or her fears by creating openings for discussion. Take such fears seriously—children need to feel safe and secure, and your words and actions can provide reassurance. Here are two books to consult to help you manage your child’s fears and anxieties:

Goldstein, Sam, Ph.D., et al. Seven Steps to Help Your Child Worry Less. Specialty Press, 2003.

Rapee, Ronald M., Editor. Helping Your Anxious Child: A Step-By-StepGuide for Parents. New Harbinger Publications, 2000.

I recommend : 
"What To Do When You Worry Too Much"

February 2016 - Grade 3: Spoiler Alert!

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In 3rd grade classrooms, we've been talking about the importance of communication during our last few lessons. It's a vital part of our success in life to be able to effectively and productively communicate with others. For some people this comes naturally, but for others it requires further exploration and explanation. 

Our final lesson in this series is about communication 'spoilers'. Kids understand the concept of a 'spoiler alert' within the context of say, giving away the ending of a movie or book that not everyone has had the opportunity of finishing on their own. But what about jumping in and giving the punchline to somebody's joke? Or interrupting a conversation and randomly changing topics? We've all encountered a person who feels the need to 'top' every story, or to somehow dominate the conversation, allowing others little floor time. 

This section of the video addresses the following problematic communication spoilers:

Communication Bandits: steal the conversation and show no respect for other's feelings or ideas.

Communication Terminators interrupt others, draw attention to themselves by speaking when they should be listening, or acting silly at inappropriate times.

Blamer Gamers point fingers and blame each other - causing arguments and ending chances for good communication.

Put-down Kings or Queens use name calling or sarcasm that hurts others and shuts down communication.

Let's face it - even as adults, we need to remember what it takes to be considerate conversationalists!

February 2016 - Grade 2: All About Friends

Second graders viewed a program called “All About Friends” this month. This topic is important because having friends is critical to a child’s happiness and well-being. Friendships matter to children for the support and sense of belonging they provide, and it is through the give-and-take of relating to others that young children learn valuable social skills that can last a lifetime.

Designed to provide children with lessons about friends and friendships, this program first asks “What makes a good friend?”, then shows through three easy-to-understand stories bracketed by appealing song lyrics that:

• a friend is someone who makes you feel good about yourself, who doesn’t put you down.

• you don’t always have to do what friends tell you to do; you have to know what’s right and wrong, and do the right thing.

• it’s okay to have lots of friends and play with them at different times.

Ask your child to tell you about the stories in the program and the lessons that the characters learned. Ask if he or she knows of or has ever been in a situation like one of those dramatized, and how he or she feels about it. Reading books together about friends and friendship can help you enlarge your child’s understanding of what it takes to have and be a friend. Here are some books, one for you and two for your child, to help you jumpstart discussion:

Elman, Natalie Madorsky, Ph.D., and Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Ph.D. The Unwritten Rules of

Friendship: Simple Strategies to Help Your Child Make Friends. Little, Brown & Co., 2003.

Lobel, Arnold. Frog and Toad Are Friends. HarperCollins Children’s Books, 1979.

Elliott, Laura Malone. Hunter’s Best Friend at School. HarperTrophy, 1985.

February 2016 - Grade 1: Name Calling

During this month's lesson, 1st grade classes viewed a short video called Don’t Call Me Names.  In this lesson, students saw vignettes illustrating a variety situations that involve calling someone a name or names. When name-calling is insulting and mean, it is easy to identify as wrong.  But what about nicknames that aren’t inherently cruel, but that bother us nonetheless? Sometimes nicknames that are seemingly flattering can take on a sarcastic or mocking tone. Even affectionate nicknames can become uncomfortable.

Key points in this lesson:

• Name calling hurts
• Hitting doesn’t solve problems, it makes them worse
• Discussing how you feel may help
• Ignoring the behavior, not acknowledging the name-calling is another strategy
• Asking a trusted adult for help if you need to

Our class discussion touched upon many of these issues. Several students related personal experiences of being labeled with a nickname they didn’t like or felt they had outgrown. Respect was the underlying theme in this discussion. Students brainstormed ways to be assertive without being combative when another person uses language or names that they are not comfortable with. Using a calm, firm tone, looking another in the eye and sticking up for oneself takes practice. Open a dialogue with your child on how they can respond constructively in these types of situations. Ask them what resonated from this lesson, and maybe try some role-playing to give them practice.

February 2016 - Kindergarten: Tattletales!

During February's Developmental Guidance lesson, kindergartners viewed a program called When Telling Isn’t Tattling. Children tattle to adults for many reasons. They may want to prove they know right from wrong. They may be looking for attention or an adult’s approval. Or they may be trying to get another child in trouble.

This program has been designed to help children understand the difference between tattling and telling, and be able to distinguish the times when it’s important to tell. Tattling doesn’t solve anything, can get another child into trouble, and can undermine friendships. After presenting several examples of children tattling, the program makes clear through a series of scenarios when telling is the right and necessary thing to do.

Some of the things your child learned from the program are:

• Telling is tattling when a situation is none of your business.

• Telling is tattling when nothing bad is going to happen.

• Telling is tattling when the only outcome is to get someone into trouble.

• Telling is not tattling when they or someone else is being picked on or bullied.

• Telling is not tattling when they or someone else is in an unhealthy, unsafe or dangerous situation.

Talk with your child about the situations that might justify telling, such as if someone is really in trouble or in danger or can’t solve a problem alone. To reinforce the program’s message, you might find it helpful to share the following books with your child: Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown. How to Be a Friend: A Guide to Making Friends and Keeping Them. Marc Brown Reprint, 2001. Kathryn M. Hammerseng. Telling Isn’t Tattling. Parenting Press, 1995.