Dear Family Member:
During a recent Developmental Guidance lesson, your child’s class viewed a program called When Telling Isn’t Tattling. Children tattle to adults for many reasons. They may want to prove they know right from wrong. They may be looking for attention or an adult’s approval. Or they may be trying to get another child in trouble.
This program has been designed to help children understand the difference between tattling and telling, and be able to distinguish the times when it’s important to tell. Tattling doesn’t solve anything, can get another child into trouble, and can undermine friendships. After presenting several examples of children tattling, the program makes clear through a series of scenarios when telling is the right and necessary thing to do.
Some of the things your child learned from the program are:
• Telling is tattling when a situation is none of your business.
• Telling is tattling when nothing bad is going to happen.
• Telling is tattling when the only outcome is to get someone into trouble.
• Telling is not tattling when they or someone else is being picked on or bullied.
• Telling is not tattling when they or someone else is in an unhealthy, unsafe or dangerous situation.
Talk with your child about the situations that might justify telling, such as if someone is really in trouble or in danger or can’t solve a problem alone. To reinforce the program’s message, you might find it helpful to share the following books with your child: Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown. How to Be a Friend: A Guide to Making Friends and Keeping Them. Marc Brown Reprint, 2001. Kathryn M. Hammerseng. Telling Isn’t Tattling. Parenting Press, 1995.
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