December 2014 - Grade 2: The Invisible Boy

Dear Families,

Trudy Ludwig is one of my favorite authors for social-emotional learning, and I use several of her books across grade levels.  She recently wrote an article for The Huffington Post, detailing her latest book, which I am using in grade 2 this month. She says it best, so I've excerpted her article below!

"Social exclusion is a topic that I've personally thought a lot about and researched before writing the children's book, The Invisible Boy. It's a fact of life we're not all going to be on the "A" list. Some of us will be more popular and have more friends than others. But what concerns me is how hurtful social ostracism can be for young children: not playing with certain kids because someone labels them as having cooties; kids laughing or making fun of others for being weird or different; shy, quiet, or sensitive children who, for whatever reason, have been overlooked or cast aside by peers and adults in their world.

The reality is that we're not going to get rid of all the hurt in our children's social world. What we can do, however, is focus on raising more emotionally resilient kids to help them get through the hurt -- with their dignity, safety, and well-being intact. We can also teach empathy and compassion to our kids. Let them know that they have the power to be a real superhero to others in small, safe, and easy ways by getting them to reach out to others, making them feel valued and appreciated. The bottom line here is that while we all may not be "Best Friends Forever" or even friends at best, we still need to treat one another with civility and respect.

Here are some additional ways we parents can support our kids and help them to connect with their peers in helpful, rather than hurtful, ways:

• Be a good friendship role model yourself.

• Teach your child how to make friends and manage conflict in non-aggressive ways. For further assistance, ask your pediatric office, local library, or bookstore for recommended parenting resources.

• Help your child put rejection in perspective by sharing personal examples from your life. You can also use children's stories (i.e., The Invisible Boy) to generate thoughtful discussions about this issue with your child in a safe social setting.

• If your child needs help with a particular friendship issue, describe a behavior you respect and help him/her come up with a plan to address that issue in a positive, respectful way.

• Focus on the quality, rather than the quantity, of your child's friendships. Researchers report it takes one good friend to get a child through tough social times.

• Foster friendships outside of school by encouraging your child to meet other children who share similar extracurricular interests and activities.

• If your child suffers from deep-seated or chronic social rejection, seek professional help.”

This book is a perfect segue to January's lesson, introducing our new playground 'buddy bench' which you'll be hearing more about very soon!

Sincerely,

Ms. Cahill

School Counselor

December 2014 - Grade 1: Howard Wigglebottom Learns to Listen

Dear Families,

December is a month that can challenge every child’s ability to pay attention! As a mid-year reminder of what’s expected in a first grade classroom,  each class listened to the story Howard Wigglebottom Learns to Listen. School is a busy place, and every classroom has students with varying degrees of attentiveness. Children are natural learners. However, getting them to listen is not always an easy task.  Enhancing listening skills not only eases frustrations for teachers and parents, but improves a child's ability to learn, develop important social skills and helps them stay out of trouble. There are strategies parents and teachers can use to improve listening skills that are also entertaining for children. Making it fun for children increases chances of success because children are more likely to be active participants in the process.

• The most important rule for encouraging any appropriate behavior is providing positive reinforcement. For example, if a normally inattentive child listens and responds appropriately, praise him immediately. If your child seems challenged in this area, use a sticker chart each time a child listens appropriately. When appropriate behaviors are positively reinforced, they are more likely to be repeated.

• Children learn by example. When the adults around them model appropriate listening skills, children are more likely to use good listening skills themselves. When a child asks a question, look at them, give them your direct attention and give them a response. If it is not an appropriate time to respond, let the child know that his question is important and you will give a response at a more appropriate time. Make sure you do what you say and give the child your attention as soon as you reasonably can.
• Ask your child about our “School Listening Look”. Help them to remember that they need to show they are listening “With their eyes on the speaker, their bodies still and their voices off”.
• Listening skills can be enhanced by asking a child to repeat instructions or to summarize what they heard. Give praise for accuracy.

Let’s all practice being good listeners!

Sincerely,

Ms. Cahill

December 2014 - K: Ten Things Instead of Hitting

Dear Families,

This month, we’ll continue to work on self-awareness, and helping students understand their feelings is the first step in developing self-regulation skills necessary to get along in the world.

As part of this lesson, your child’s class viewed Ten Things to Do Instead of Hitting.  For children in grades K-2, the focus of their social world has been steadily shifting outward from home to school. Along with this major transition comes new demands to cooperate with other children, to work and play in groups, and to exercise self-control over socially unacceptable impulses like hitting, yelling and throwing things. For many children of this age, their emotions are fragile, and it is not uncommon for them to have explosions in the form of tantrums, verbal attacks, or outbursts of tears. Therefore, children need to learn strategies for recognizing and dealing with their angry feelings before they get out of hand. Here are some things that you can discuss with your child when he or she seems angry.

• Help your child become aware of what is causing the anger.

You might say, “Tell me how you are feeling. Why do you think you are feeling this way?” and “What are some other ways you can think of to solve your problem?” Here are some alternatives to hitting that your child learned in the program.

• talk about angry feelings                                                • squish clay  

• cool off by counting to ten, say the alphabet, etc.    • draw a picture

• use up angry energy by working hard                         • pound a pillow

• write about angry feelings                                            • release energy by blowing up balloons

• do something active – run or jump        • dream about some favorite things to do

Practice alternatives that your child can use in actual situations when he/she is trying to avoid hitting or other unacceptable reactions. Model appropriate ways of dealing with anger and frustration at home demonstrate it’s ok to get mad, as long as the response is appropriate.

Suggested Reading : Feagin, Clairece Booher. Angry Feelings. Chicago: Contemporary Books. 1990. Leonard, Marcia. Angry. New York: Bantam Books, 1988.

Yours truly,

Ms. Cahill

School Counselor