February 2015 - Grade 3: The Unexpected

Dear Families,

This month, 3rd graders were treated to a lesson co-taught by myself and Mrs. Fulreader! We call it 'Expected or Unexpected?'. 

Third grade is a pivotal year in gaining perspective, both of oneself and of others. Behaviors that may have gone unnoticed in previous years begin to come to the attention of classmates and other peers. While many of these are benign and relatively harmless, they can still be socially isolating. Think about typical young child habits such as nose-picking, or eating with an open mouth. Once kids start to notice such behavior in a peer, they may begin to distance themselves. 

Other behaviors are more overt and clearly maladaptive - things like acting out, tantrums, or having highly volatile emotional reactions. As a public school, we educate every child in the district regardless of their level of learning. A child with academic deficits receives support commensurate with their needs, and peers may or may not be aware. A child with social/emotional concerns has a more public display of their challenges that may impact classmates. Part of the awareness process includes recognizing what is appropriate in various settings. Another piece is recognizing how we respond when someone else does the unexpected.

Your child may tell you that Ms. Cahill came into the room 'acting crazy' when Mrs. Fulreader was attempting to teach them about cafeteria expectations. And it's true! I loudly interrupted, violated her personal space, knocked things from a table, overreacted with yelling sobs and crawled off to hide in the cubbies. Probably a few other details I've missed - but it's likely your student can tell you ;-). 

Our discussion revolved around how we feel and respond when others behave in ways that are not expected. We explored to some degree what the 'unexpected' person might be experiencing during an episode as well. The conversation focused on how we can only control our own behavior, and giving the children the non-judgmental response 'that was unexpected' when dealing with peers who may not be conforming in typical ways. 

Ms. Cahill

February 2015 - Grade 4: "You Stink"

Hello everyone!
This month we're taking a slightly different viewpoint for our lesson. Mrs. Ortiz (our school nurse) and I have often found ourselves in discussions about how to speak with students about personal care, particularly in the spring when the weather gets warm. Let's just say that 4th grade classrooms - especially those in the portables that lack air conditioning - can get a little ripe! Taking care of our bodies is a lifelong job. Practicing good hygiene is more important than ever for young students whose bodies are inching closer to the enormous changes of adolescence. Whether we are talking about body odor, toilet practices, bad breath or the transmission of germs, most students can surely benefit from a reminder of why good hygiene is important.

Practicing good hygiene does more than help us stay healthy. It allows us to look and feel our best. One of the underlying reasons for teaching children good hygiene practices is to help them develop a sense of self-esteem and personal value. A child who cares about himself or herself is more likely to maintain a clean personal appearance. This becomes even more significant as children approach adolescence and their bodies begin to change.

Many thanks to Mrs. Ortiz, who acquired a video dealing with these issues! Though she is unable to be in attendance during the lessons, students were reminded that she is available to answer any tricky questions they may have about taking care of their bodies. As always, we recommend they go to their parents for advice and support as well.

My collaboration with 4th grade teachers indicated a pressing issue for them was how to broach the subject with a student if a chronic situation should arise. In the interest of respecting student's burgeoning self-awareness, our class discussions revolved around the hypothetical 'what if'. It was very enlightening to the adults in the room to hear the perspective of students. The overwhelming majority indicated they would prefer to hear a discreet message from a trusted peer than an adult.

From there, we modeled the 'who, what, when, where and how' this could be done in the school setting, using very specific examples. Though initially uncomfortable with the topic, students were very animated and actively participating in this discussion. We can hope that by setting up scenarios and fostering thought on the topic, everyone can make an awkward situation less so by gaining understanding of an appropriate way to handle it with kindness and respect.

Ms. Cahill

February 2015 - Grades 1 and 2: Basic Hygiene

I'm collaborating with Mrs. Ortiz, our school nurse for some lessons this month. February is a prime month for colds, flu and other contagious conditions, so a video called "Brush Up on Hygiene" is a nice visual to remind and educate students about the importance of some basic skills.

Many students may already know that germs are microscopic living things that can cause illnesses. However, they may not understand how germs are related to other aspects of hygiene—such as contagious illnesses like conjunctivitis or the common cold. Students need to understand that they can play a large role in maintaining their own health. They can reduce their risk of being sick in many simple daily ways: they can wash their hands with warm water and soap often, avoid sharing anything that goes into their bodies, eat healthy foods, get enough rest and exercise and have regular checkups.

Studies have shown that the simple act of washing our hands with soap and water reduces a person’s chances of contracting a cold or flu virus. Similarly, by sneezing into a tissue, we can reduce the number of active germs on a surface by 80 to 90 percent. Such basic practices are essential for all people to learn and implement in their daily lives.

The program Brush Up on Hygiene was developed to raise awareness, expand knowledge and assist young people in the identification and understanding of disease prevention and proper hygiene. The animated germs help get the point across in an engaging manner, and we hope that all our students can do their best to stay healthy this winter!

Ms. Cahill

February 2015 - Kindergarten: Tattling or Telling?

Dear Family Member:

Kindergarten's viewed a program called When Telling Isn’t Tattling this month. Children tattle to adults for many reasons. They may want to prove they know right from wrong. They may be looking for attention or an adult’s approval. Or they may be trying to get another child in trouble.

This program has been designed to help children understand the difference between tattling and telling, and be able to distinguish the times when it’s important to tell. Tattling doesn’t solve anything, can get another child into trouble, and can undermine friendships. After presenting several examples of children tattling, the program makes clear through a series of scenarios when telling is the right and necessary thing to do.

Some of the things your child learned from the program are:

• Telling is tattling when a situation is none of your business.

• Telling is tattling when nothing bad is going to happen.

• Telling is tattling when the only outcome is to get someone into trouble.

• Telling is not tattling when they or someone else is being picked on or bullied.

• Telling is not tattling when they or someone else is in an unhealthy, unsafe or dangerous situation.

Talk with your child about the situations that might justify telling, such as if someone is really in trouble or in danger or can’t solve a problem alone. To reinforce the program’s message, you might find it helpful to share the following books with your child: Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown. How to Be a Friend: A Guide to Making Friends and Keeping Them. Marc Brown Reprint, 2001. Kathryn M. Hammerseng. Telling Isn’t Tattling. Parenting Press, 1995.

Yours truly,

Ms. Cahill

January 2015 - Grade 4: Effective Listening

In addition to being taught history, geography, reading, writing, and mathematics, elementary school children are constantly being taught self-development skills: how to handle a bully, how to be assertive, how to deal with peer pressure, how to handle anger, how to build self-esteem—and the list goes on and on. But there is one skill that must be mastered before any of these other social skills can be learned: how to communicate effectively. Fourth graders watched a video this month that demonstrated how to use good listening skills, and also showed examples of poor listening. 

It has been said that the three most important things to consider when buying a house are location, location and location. Similarly, it may be said that the three most important factors in a child’s personality development are communication, communication and communication.

The ability to clearly communicate information, thoughts and ideas to others is absolutely crucial to success in virtually all aspects of life. Good communication skills are not only essential to a child’s learning process, but they are also necessary to establish friendships and avoid conflicts with others. Too many children have problems in their relationships because they are not able to express their ideas clearly, and their meanings and intentions are misunderstood by their peers and even the adults in their lives. By the same token, children who interfere with or block the communication of others not only have difficulty learning something new, but they often prompt others to feelings of anger, frustration and sadness.

It is possible to speak to someone without really saying anything. It is possible to hear someone speak without really listening to what is being said. Effective communication depends on many factors including tone of voice, eye contact, body language, concentration, control of one’s feelings—and respect for others. This last factor needs to be stressed, because children must be aware that everyone has a right to communicate their thoughts and feelings, and to prevent others from doing this is simply not acceptable behavior.

The I Can Communicate series was created to help children understand what constitutes good communication, and learn why this skill is necessary in order to foster healthy relationships and to succeed in school. This is a topic we will continue to visit!

Ms. Cahill 

January 2015 - Grade 3: Mistakes!

Dear Family,

As adults, we all know that making mistakes is simply part of being human. We also realize that sometimes the lessons we learn by making mistakes are the ones we remember best! Third graders viewed a short video called Everybody Makes Mistakes.  Making mistakes typically causes children to feel bad about themselves and may elicit feelings of anger, frustration, embarrassment or shame. It’s important that children learn to differentiate between different kinds of mistakes: silly ones, mistakes that take time to fix, and those that cannot be fixed. Children need to understand that making mistakes is part of life, and that it is how we respond to mistakes that really matters. This lesson is designed to illustrate that mistakes of any kind offer a learning opportunity every time.

Key points in this lesson:

• Some mistakes cannot be fixed
• It’s okay to ask for help
• You can learn from your mistakes
• Sometimes failure can lead to success

During our class discussion, many personal examples of mistakes, big and small, were shared. Students related how they felt before and after their mistake, and why certain mistakes loomed larger in their memories than others. As adults, we need to be willing to admit when we’ve made a mistake and model appropriate reactions. Acknowledging and validating a child’s feelings over mistakes will help them accept the outcome.

Sincerely,

Ms. Cahill

January 2015 - Grade 2: Relationship Repairs

Dear Family,

Our January lesson centered around relationships we have with other people - friends, family, teachers, etc. Many children do not yet realize that all relationships require a certain amount of work to retain - especially as they get older. This lesson focused on how to make up after having a falling-out or disagreement with someone. Knowing how to initiate and accept apologies, owning behavior and taking responsibility are all important components to having successful friendships.

Second graders viewed a short video called Let’s Make Up.  Everyone experiences conflict at some point, and disagreements among peers is quite common. The intent of this lesson is to identify and model skills involved in resolving conflicts peacefully. There is a variety of ways to solve problems and resolve differences with others without using violence or relational aggression (i.e.: silent treatment, blackballing, etc). Learning how to use positive, productive tools is key to successful social interaction and emotional management.

Key points in this lesson:

• Admit when you’re wrong
• Learn to make a sincere apology
• Sorry is an action, not just words
• Learn to ask for forgiveness
• Holding a grudge hurts relationships

Each class was unanimous in saying they had all experienced conflicts or arguments at school or home. We discussed the ways in which these situations were resolved, or sometimes remain unresolved. We continued the conversation to include whether some relationships are simply not healthy for us. This is a difficult but important concept for children to grasp and we will continue talking about it throughout the school year.

Sincerely,

Ms. Cahill  

January 2015 - Grade 1: Name Calling

Dear Family,

During our January lesson, your child’s class viewed a short video called Don’t Call Me Names.  In this lesson, students saw vignettes illustrating a variety situations that involve calling someone a name or names. When name-calling is insulting and mean, it is easy to identify as wrong.  But what about nicknames that aren’t inherently cruel, but that bother us nonetheless? Sometimes nicknames that are seemingly flattering can take on a sarcastic or mocking tone. Even affectionate nicknames can become uncomfortable.

Key points in this lesson:

• Name calling hurts
• Hitting doesn’t solve problems either, it makes them worse
• Discussing how you feel may help
• Ignoring the behavior, not acknowledging the name-calling is another strategy
• Asking a trusted adult for help if you need to

Our class discussion touched upon many of these issues. Several students related personal experiences of being labeled with a nickname they didn’t like or felt they had outgrown. Respect was the underlying theme in this discussion. Students brainstormed ways to be assertive without being combative when another person uses language or names that they are not comfortable with. Using a calm, firm tone, looking another in the eye and sticking up for oneself takes practice. Open a dialogue with your child on how they can respond constructively in these types of situations. Ask them what resonated from this lesson, and maybe try some role-playing to give them practice.

Sincerely,

Ms. Cahill,

School Counselor

January 2015 - Kindergarten: Bossy

Dear Families,

With January comes an abundance of indoor recess, and with it, the tendency for children to get 'cabin fever' even here at school! We often see this manifest in their play in the form of bossiness, as they are confined in a classroom with the same children all day. To help educate our youngest students, your child’s class viewed a program called Student Workshop: Don’t Be So Bossy. Learning to negotiate and compromise are hallmarks of successful social interaction, as is the ability to stand up for oneself. Children require practice in acquiring these skills, and classmates often provide challenging interactions. This video illustrates these types of situations. When your child displays bossy behavior toward others, ask him/her the following questions:

“Do you think you have the right to tell someone what to do?”  

“Can you tell when you are hurting the other child’s feelings when you boss them?”

“How would you like it if someone talked that way to you?”

Ask your child to tell you about the stories in the program, and the lessons that the various characters learned. Here are some of the main points that the program emphasized:

• The best way to discourage a bossy person is to stand up for yourself.
• Just because someone tells you what to do doesn’t mean he or she is right.
• Bossing someone around shows a lack of respect for that person.
• It’s important to use your words and tell a bossy person how you feel.

Ask your child what he or she learned from watching this program. Discuss how these examples apply to situations in your home. Help your child use these ideas when he or she is dealing with a bossy person.

Talk to your child about situations in which he or she is having difficulty showing or getting respect. By discussing these problems, your child may be better able to identify the cause of the problem and better understand the importance of respect. With your child, try role-playing alternative solutions to these problems. Also, don’t be afraid to gently intercede when you see your child being either to bossy, or too passive.

Sincerely,

Ms. Cahill