Dear Families,
Once again, I go to a favorite author for social emotional learning! Fourth graders listened to the book Sorry! by Trudy Ludwig. Dr. Aaron Lazare, author of On Apology, best describes the intent behind this lesson:
“Making a genuine apology seems like a sensible, constructive thing to do when one person offends another. Yet it is remarkable how frequently apologies are withheld or offered in a manner that offends rather than heals. The reasons for such failures are the fear of being shamed, being seen as weak, being rejected, or the like. With fears like these, we can see that learning to apologize is no small matter. Overcoming them requires honesty, generosity, commitment, humility and courage.
Apologizing is best learned in childhood and the most obvious teachers are parents and educators. Yet when we adults are clumsy and fearful about apologizing, when we believe it is dangerous to apologize, when we believe apologizing is a sign of weakness, we are apt to fail as positive role models for our children.”
We often find ourselves commanding one child to apologize to another. What results is frequently half-hearted, insincere, and given only under the pressure of an adult. This rarely results in making amends on the part of the offended person, and the offender does not actually gain understanding either. The story line in Sorry! Illustrates the four crucial parts of making an effective apology: 
This story also illustrates how children may learn that they can get away with things by simply uttering those magic words ‘I’m sorry’, even without meaning them. As adults, it is our job to not only explain the true meaning of a sincere apology, but to model it as well.
Sincerely, Ms. Cahill
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